Prehistoric Sexiness

Adam: Does latex have oil product in it?
Me: I don’t think so.
Adam: I thought some condoms did.
Me: My guess would be the polyurethane ones. They probably have oil products.
Adam: …
Me: Which means you have sex with dinosaurs when you use them.
Adam: Yeah that’s exactly it.

While Eating Pizza

Me: Can we be arch nemesises?
Adam: We are.
Me: Does that mean I can try and get you fired and stuff?
Adam: Yeah. Just like I can shit up your nose while you sleep?
Me: *laughing*
Adam: My awesomeness is immeasurable.
Me: *laughing*
Adam: Irrmeasurable.
Me:…
Adam: My awesomeness cannot be measured.

Bringing Sexy Back From the Cold Food Section

on the phone…
Me: I’m going to bed now.
Adam: I’m rubbing a block of cold processed cheese on my body.
Me:…
Adam: Does that do anything for you?
Me: Wow.