Speaking of Journey

*I sing a lot of 80s music to myself*
Me: Just a small down girl living in a lonely world…
Adam: Where was she going?
Me: Anywhere. She was a location slut.

Speaking of Foreigner

Me: Standing in the rain. With it’s head down low…
Adam: It’s?
Me: Yeah, it’s a dog.
Adam: Jukebox hero is a dog?
Me: Yes, that’s why it couldn’t get into the show. It couldn’t use Ticketmaster
Adam: It all makes sense now.

Pets Adam Shouldn’t Have

Adam: I totally want a polar bear dog cross.
Chelsea: Why?
Adam: It would be so cool. It would be unstoppable.
Chelsea: …
Adam: Especially after I strapped a bullet proof vest on it.
Chelsea:…
Adam: We’d rob banks.
Adam: People would be scared
Chelsea:…
Adam: Then we’d go clubbing

Careers Adam Shouldn’t Have

Adam: I want to be a backup singer.
Chelsea: Why?
Adam: I’d be like “woah woah woah oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh ohhhhhhhhh”.
Chelsea: …
Adam: And they’d be like “Adam, wow”
Chelsea…
Adam: And I’d be all “yesssssss”

You’re Not Funny Mom

In the Canadian Tire Parking lot

Mom: It’s so hot, and here were are in our matching sweaters
Chelsea: Maybe I should take it off *undoes and shows cleavage*
Mom: Those are even whiter than your forehead
Chelsea: …
Mom: Wasn’t that funny?
Chelsea: …
Mom: Do I get to be on your thingswesaid now?