My Love For Journey Sees No Bounds

Me: God, I would pay MONEY to see Journey live.
Adam: Isn’t that a valid form of payment to see them?
Me: Sure, if you want to state the obvious.

Dear Enfagrow

I wrote this to Enfagrow in response to their super ugly ads that sort of freak me out.

“Your current ads for Enfagrow featuring cartoon drawings of children are, simply put, awful. The children all look like they are demonic creatures from a really bad horror movie. These ads make me want to not buy any of your products ever because the money is obviously going towards paying untalented hacks to created ridiculously bad advertising.

I cannot stress enough how terrible these advertisements are. Continuing to run this campaign is doing yourself a disservice. No one wants their kids to look anything like the creatures in your ads. If you’re advertising something that supposedly encourages children’s health, you may want to have the ads feature children that don’t look as if they’ve returned from the grave.”

Compliments Come in Many Forms

Me: One day, one of the things someone had searched that brought them to my blog was “things you can stick in a cunt”.
Me: I thought of you.
Cal: Awww! Best compliment ever!

Sew Gross

Adam: *burps*
Me: That was so gross.
Adam: Could have been worse.
Me: How?
Adam: I could have thrown up. Or shat out my mouth?
Me: Who has ever done that?
Adam: …an owl.

Problems With English? Yes?

Me: That was funny, I’m funny!
Adam: You are short.
Me:…
Adam: Which is a synonym for funny.
Me:…
Adam: Wait not a synonym.
Me:…
Adam: An isosceles

Justice for One

TV: “An underpinning of our justice system is that it’s better to let 100 guilty men walk free than lock up once innocent man.”
Me: I totally don’t agree with that.
Adam: So you think it’s better to lock up innocent people?
Me: If it means guilty people go to jail.
Adam: So you’d be willing to go to jail if you were innocent?
Me: If it meant 100 guilty men had to stay in jail.
Adam: Even if they were guilty of bad dancing?